La crisis de la abuela 5

Elena Baeza Berruti.

EBB 6.Scan0006Doña Rosa eligió un vestido negro, con rebeca negra y pañuelo negro, para la ocasión, como estaba mandado.

Susi se enfundó su equipo todo negro y unos cómodos calcetines oscuros para poder manejar los dedos de los pies ya que era de vital importancia adherirse con tacto al cable que la iba a sujetar en vilo. Se colocó el arnés que la conectaría al cable y se aseguró de que el mosquetón funcionara correctamente, como le habían indicado en la tienda…

Pensó que pasaría frío, porque el día de San Isidro en Madrid divide mayo en dos…si hace bueno antes, suele hacer frío después del quince.

Se dispusieron ambas a salir de casa y calcularon que a la una de la mañana no habría tráfico en la escalera.

-Mamá, guarda las llaves que yo no llevo bolso.

Doña Rosa abrió la puerta y le dijo:

-¡Susi, no empecemos con las manías, soy perfectamente capaz! ¡Yo llevo mis llaves!

Subieron en ascensor y la madre le preguntó a la hija, si en esas llevaba la llave de la azotea

-No, mamá, la llevas tú, la guardaste ayer, lo primero, en el ensayo.

-¡Ah, sí, ya, ya!…no hace falta que me lo repitas.

Abrieron la portezuela de madera de obra que cedió a duras penas por la falta de uso y saltaron (doña Rosa con prudencia, ayudada por Susi) el umbral de forma que se encontraron en el exterior sintiendo una ligera pero gélida brisa en el cuerpo.

Habían quedado con Goyo a la 01:15 y se pusieron a otear el cielo, oscuro. De abajo, de la calle llegaba el rumor del tráfico que no es abundante en una noche de festivo en Madrid.

-Ya se retrasa un minuto.

-Mamá, que cuando te puse en hora el móvil, le añadí cinco minutos.

-¡Deberíamos de haber sincronizado los relojes!

-¡Síí!.. Y quedar con George Clooney en vez de con Goyo…

De repente empezaron a oír un “popoteo” es decir el “popopopot” del aparato con que quedaron con Goyo que sería mejor para la acción: Un helicóptero ligero, muy pequeño, que parecía un enorme mosquito que miraba con unos grandes ojos transparentes, porque toda la cabina era acristalada, incluidas las portillas.

Asombradas pudieron vislumbrar que el tercer atracador venía luciendo una sonrisa triunfal y como se posaba en la azotea con una maniobra tan suave y perfecta, que a ambas se les disiparon las dudas de que aquello fuera a ser un desastre desde el principio (cosa que Susi contemplaba y Doña Rosa no quería admitir… ¡Su plan era perfecto!)

Allí estaba y el galán abrió la portezuela sin parar la hélice y les indicó con la mano que subieran con presteza, lo cual fue un poco difícil. Doña Rosa subió la primera ayudada con esfuerzo por la hija que la empujó levemente, poniéndole la mano en…la  parte trasera del “chasis” más que cansado e incorporándola al habitáculo, a la de tres.

Susi subió a bordo a continuación y cerrando la portezuela notó algo de descanso por la ausencia de corriente de aire.

-¡Hola Goyo! ¿Ves cómo no ha sido tan difícil?… ¡Ya te dije yo que en Cuatro Aires había de todo!

Goyo saludó y emprendió el ascenso.

-¡Operación toma de azotea completada, parte del plan solucionado… y con puntualidad meridiana…o sea…todas a bordo!

Susi y su madre se percataron de que no había ruido… más que el de la conversación y Goyo aclaró que aquel era un aparato insonorizado pero que había tenido que dar un plan de vuelo falso a la torre de Borojas…

Viraron y pusieron rumbo al Sur-Suroeste.

Susi a una señal de Goyo se engancho el cable al arnés y al momento se oyó un chasquido que identificó provenía de la Radio.

-Borojas a Roger Bravo AX 225

Goyo permaneció callado.

-Borojas a Roger Bravo AX 225, conteste, no sigue el plan de vuelo, confirme su posición, repito, confirme su posición

Como Goyo no contestó en absoluto, mientras iba haciendo camino… la torre de control insistía.

-Se está desviando de su ruta, repito, no va a Chinchón, repito, está fuera de su ruta

Seguían volando caminito a la Cibeles y menos mal, no había ningún otro objeto volante en los alrededores, ni siquiera la Policía Municipal controlando el tráfico terrestre.

Doña Rosa comentó:-¿No sería mejor que contestases?

-No, para nada, es más, bajo lo que puedo para que no me localice el radar, yo sé lo que me hago…¿Sabe, doña Rosa?… ¡Esto empieza a ponerse emocionante!¿Qué te parece pantuflita?

-Pues que a mi la “emoción” me está produciendo movimientos orquestales en…los adentros…

-(D.R.) ¡Venga niña, que si te rajas tendré que bajar yo misma!

-¡No, eso no mamá, que tienes vértigo!

No veían más que tejados y muy cerca y las calles iluminadas por focos y farolas.

La radio seguía protestando pero habían pasado cinco minutos y ya estaban encima del “objetivo”, nada más y nada menos que el Banco de Iberia.

Todo estaba medido al milímetro.

Allí estaba, y no los habían podido localizar, por el momento…Todas las calles vacías a la una y veintidós minutos y Goyo le dijo a Susi:

-Prepárate pantuflita.

Se detuvieron justo encima de la bola.

Nadie se percató de su presencia puesto que, aunque vibraba, el helicóptero no emitía ruido alguno.

Manteniéndose en vuelo a unos dos metros y medio del tejado, Susi se santiguó y abrió la portezuela, ya asegurada al cable dotado de un imán, con el que descendería. Puso los pies en el patín del aparato volador y sacó todo el cuerpo fuera…la ventolera era considerable, entre la de las aspas y la de la noche, pero llevaba un gorro de operaciones especiales de cuando Goyo estuvo en EE.UU. que impedía que su cabellera le jugara una mala pasada.

-(Susi preguntó presta a la acción) ¿Ya?

-(A lo que el piloto contestó) Ahora te iré ajustando según me guíes con la mano.

Susi descendía con el cable y corrigiendo varias veces según sus indicaciones, que su madre traducía, acertaron a quedar a la altura justa, encima de la dorada bola, que casi no hubiera podido abrazar, pero casi tocaba…

No se veía nada desde abajo, porque el mosquito era “azul noche”, el cable fino y Susi vestía de negro, antirreflectante.

Ella mantenida sujeta al cabo con brazos y piernas, consiguió adherir el imán al punto justo en la bola, que como casi todo en ésta vida era dorada por fuera y de vil metal ferroso por dentro. ¡Ya tenían la mitad del trabajo hecho!

El tejado del Banco estaba sin embargo plagadito de haces de luz láser, aparte de toda la seguridad posible a ras de tierra, en las enormes puertas donde hace guardia la Benemérita.

De modo que todo el silencio y la cautela valieron de poco, porque saltaron las alarmas insonoras, a un va y ven del cuerpo de Susi, en la Comisaría Central de Policía.

Susi seguía su trabajo sin percatarse de nada…todo iba rodado…

Tocó la bola con los pies y se agachó para ver cual era el sistema de sujeción, sobre la que parecía el “Principito en su planeta”.

La Bola estaba colocada como si fuera un globo terráqueo en un bastidor de hierro, justo anclada en el ecuador y observó que estaba atornillada por los cuatro puntos cardinales.

No había casi tráfico a esas horas por la calle de Recoletos, ni un alma, siquiera por la Cibeles… (Pensó: ¡Buena hora para sacar una foto para los billetes…si existieran todavía los de mil pesetas!)

A Susi le pasó Doña Rosa un destornillador con batería que había comprado en Oroy Mesling y entonces se puso manos a la obra: Atacó un tornillo, y luego el otro, y así con los cuatro; así de fácil. Tuvo que apoyarse con las puntas en el bastidor para que la bola cediera y como no estaba muy ceñida, el cable, ella el imán y el objeto de sus sueños empezaron a moverse hacia arriba.

El siguiente paso del plan era que todo el conjunto, bola y ladrona asidas por el cable, sobrevolaran el trayecto hasta la mismísima azotea de la que partieron.

Doña rosa exclamó:

-¡Ya la tenemos! ¡Por fin Susi hace algo de provecho!

-Bueno querida suegra, si la puedo tutear, ¡es que Pantuflita hace todo a las mil maravillas!

Peeero…cuando se disponían a emprender el vuelo, comenzaron a oír un clamor de sirenas y se presentaron una cantidad que nunca habían visto juntos de coches y furgonas policiales que se paraban en los alrededores del edificio.

Así, suspendida en el aire Susi miró hacia abajo y vislumbró lo que parecían Fuerzas Especiales.

Con megáfonos empezaron a emitir…

-¡¡Desciendan a la calzada!! ¡¡Están rodeados!! ¡¡Desciendan, están detenidos!!

Goyo quiso subir pero se lo impidió un helicóptero de la Policía de Tráfico (que debía de pasar por allí…)

No tuvo más remedio que descender bruscamente para ver si podía remontar luego y zafarse de la vigilancia…

La madre estaba tan pálida que reflectaba los focos que les apuntaban y la hija se zarandeaba con los movimientos del mini helicóptero. Pero Goyo sabía que tenían una posibilidad, ¡siempre la había!

Estaban a la altura del segundo piso y Doña Rosa en uno de los vaivenes echó mano a no sé qué palanca desplazándola…era la del imán… La  bola cayó en picado. Los policías se apartaron. La bola tocó el suelo con un ¡CLOONNKK! y empezó a rodar descontrolada por el Paseo de Recoletos, el Paseo del Prado…dirección Estación de Atocha…Los policías, los especiales gritaban

-¡La BOOLA, la BOOOLAAA!

Ya se habían movilizado varios zeta, calle abajo.

Goyo se desequilibró al tocar levemente uno de los mástiles de la fuente con el patín y sin remedio se vinieron abajo, a  duras penas sin volcar el mosquito.

Susi había quedado maltrecha, porque fue la primera en tocar tierra en contra de su voluntad.

Al despliegue policial se unió el sanitario, porque llegaron dos UVI móvil que atendieron a los heridos, que según iban siendo rescatados igualmente iban siendo detenidos.

Eran casi las dos y media de la madrugada, y el comentario de los policías en general es que no se habían encontrado con nada semejante en toda su vida de servicio.

Los trasladaron a comisaría y como no localizaron al GEBB 6.Scan0007obernador del Banco de Iberia avisaron a la secretaria del Secretario General para que avisara al Tesorero o a algún Presidente Emérito…vamos, para que alguien se diera por enterado y hablara con la prensa, antes y con tiempo…

El interrogatorio duró hasta las cinco y media de la mañana, en consideración a la edad de una de las presuntas ¿atracadoras?

Pero como la bola se había detenido por sus puntos y pudo ser recuperada sin demasiado deterioro (como cuando a la Cibeles le roban el brazo…) pues…el Inspector Jefe no sabía muy bien de qué acusarles…: A Goyo de saltarse por completo un plan de vuelo y violar el espacio aéreo de la capital… (¿Pero eso no pasaba en Moscovia?), como mucho de volar demasiado bajo, poniendo en peligro a los transeúntes (¿a las dos de la mañana?).

A Susi de perpetrar un delito contra la propiedad pública…bueno, el ¿mobiliario urbano?… ¿Y quizá inducida, coaccionada?

Doña Rosa… ¡A ésa si que la podía trincar!

¡Era el cerebro de la banda!… ¿Pero autora material?

Pasaron entre rejas el resto de la noche en espera de que se les asignara Abogado de Oficio y no realizaron llamada alguna, porque ninguno tenía a quién llamar.

-Pantuflita, espero que nos den, por lo menos, el desayuno…

-Y yo creo que nos darán desayuno…muchos días… ¡Y no me vuelvas a llamar pantufla!

-Flita, querida pantuflita…

-¡Queréis callaros!

-Mamá, ¡tú nos metiste en esto!

-¡¿Y si hubiera salido bien, estaríais llorando como plañideras?!… ¡¿Y mi bastón?!… ¡A que lo habéis perdido!

Llegó el amanecer. A las siete y media en punto de la mañana un funcionario les abrió la puerta de la celda:

-Salgan, están libres sin cargos. El Excmo. Sr. Ministro Don Roberto Bruñíz  Bollordón, se ha interesado por los particulares de tan ¿insólito? caso, y al haberse recuperado lo que se sustrajo (a tener muy en cuenta en estos tiempos) y considerando que ninguno tiene antecedentes penales, ni debe IBI, ni participa en desordenes callejeros habitualmente…ni nunca, en su magnanimidad les deja en libertad con tal de que no… reincidan.

Lo cual firma, para que conste donde pueda proceder a tal y tal…

Una vez fuera de las dependencias, con el aire de la mañana madrileña (a la hora del café con churros) Goyo no salía de su asombro, Susi lo miraba sonriendo, Doña Rosa exclamó:

-¡Yo sabía que no se atreverían con una pobre octogenaria!…Se me está ocurriendo que podríamos, al menos con uno de los Leones del Congreso… ¿Susi…tu no tenías un amigo en una empresa de mudanzas?

G.-

S.- ¡¡¡¡MAAAAMÁÁÁÁÁ!!!!!!

 

 

FIN

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